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ENLIGHTENED PERSPECTIVE

These were written by Andy Rooney, a man who has the gift of saying so much
with so few words.

I've learned....
That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

I've learned....
That when you're in love, it shows.

I've learned....
That just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day.

I've learned....
That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful
feelings in the world.

I've learned....
That being kind is more important than being right.

I've learned....
That you should never say no to a gift from a child.

I've learned....
That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help
him in some other way.

I've learned....
That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a
friend to act goofy with.

I've learned....
That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to
understand.

I've learned....
That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the
faster it goes.

I've learned....
That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned....
That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned....
That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned...
That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and
loved.

I've learned....
That the Lord didn't do it all in one day.. What makes me think I can?

I've learned....
That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned....
That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that
person continue to hurt you.

I've learned....
That love, not time, heals all wounds.

I've learned....
That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with
people smarter than I am.

I've learned....
That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

I've learned....
That there's nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling
their breath on your cheeks.

I've learned....
That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

I've learned....
That life is tough, but I'm tougher.

I've learned....
That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

I've learned....
That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere....

I've learned....
That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he
passed away.

I've learned That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because
tomorrow he may have to eat them.

I've learned....
That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I've learned....
That I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

I've learned....
That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness
and growth occurs while you're climbing it.

I've learned ...
That it is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is
requested and when it is a life threatening
situation.

I've learned....
That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.

Give a smile to everyone you meet - it costs nothing yet means so much


STOP

UNENLIGHTENED PERSPECTIVE
HOW TO ACHIEVE 103%  IN LIFE

We have all been to those meetings where someone wants more than 100%.
Well, here's how you do that. Here's how you can achieve 103%.

First of all, here's a little math that might prove helpful in the
future.

How does one achieve 100% in LIFE?

Begin by noting the following.

IF:
A = 1
B = 2
C = 3
D = 4
E = 5
F = 6
G = 7
H = 8
I = 9
J = 10
K = 11
L = 12
M = 13
N = 14
O = 15
P = 16
Q =17
R = 18
S =19
T = 20
U = 21
V = 22
W = 23
X = 24
Y = 25
Z = 26

Then:
H A R D W O R K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = Only 98%


Similarly,
K N O W L E D G E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = Only 96%

But interesting (and as you'd expect),
A T T I T U D E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100% ...

This is how you achieve 100% in LIFE.

But EVEN MORE IMPORTANT TO NOTE (or REALIZE), is
B U L L S H I T = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

So now you know what all those high-priced consultants, upper
management, and motivational speakers really mean when they want
you to exceed 100%!


For some reason; maybe netbug or simply spamming, we received this e-mail of unknown origin. We still don't understand what's the point of this message but we thought it's amusing. Call it intelligent sense of humor or simply dumb creation of intelligent disgruntled unhappy soul....blah, blah, blah...whatever.........


Re: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

In order to assure the highest level of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list. Our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENT EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAM (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.) Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T. you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.)

Thank You,
BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)
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